It is a scary thing to be pulled back into the dark dept you clawed your way out of so desperately. It is almost taboo to celebrate such a triumph when the fear of falling back into old habits threaten you every single day. Only to find yourself on the same treacherous path after working so hard to keep yourself away from it. You practice mindfulness, proceed your days by being productive, and vehemently place yourself in a position to help others.
When you suffer the way that I have as well as many others, you will always find yourself being pulled back down into that dark dept. You wonder what brought you back to this place of pain, anger, and loneliness. It could have been nothing as well as everything that you have been experiencing and doing. The only thing that remains true is that it is an illness, and like some illnesses there is a chance of relapse. It is ok. Just remember to always try your best to pull yourself back out of that dark dept. You will become stronger every time.
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