Hello my ghouls,
As some of you may have noticed, today is the first time I’ve posted on Grim’s Crypt since April of this year. Inspiration and the desire to write weren’t very prevalent as of late, but that’s of no excuse. That’s because writing is my therapy, Grim’s Crypt is my safe place, and you all are very much so apart of my support system whether you know it or not. Due to my lack of writing and posting, I suffered to realize that I had entered a depression because I stopped what I considered my therapy.
There is one thing that I continuously work on within, and that is my ability to come up with an excuse for almost anything that I do not commit to. It’s a bad habit, and one that I really want to break. So instead of updating you all with a collective amount of excuses, I’ve decided to share majority of what has hindered me posting.
In early February of this year, an important family member of mine’s fell ill. It was really hard on my family and myself. On my birthday she had flat-lined twice. With a few surgeries, and a couple of months of rehab she is alive and kicking today. But those months were not easy in the slightest as we also had to help her make a huge transition in the midst of her getting some of her memories back. It is around this time where I was in a constant state of anxiety, worry, and stress. I started posting less, and my health was also starting to decline as we all rallied together to help my family member out. She’s alive and doing well, and that’s all that we could ever ask for.
As I passed that hurdle, another one appeared just after for me. My beautiful laptop had started to slow and malfunction. After a while, I wasn’t able to use it anymore. It really sucked not being able to type, and with that the need to create decreased. I started looking into purchasing another laptop as the one I had was an old model where most wouldn’t bother to fix. The cost to purchase another took a negative toll on me, but that didn’t stop me from saving up to get a new one…at some point. It was starting to look like I wouldn’t be able to get one until next year. Remember when I said my health started declining?
Yea. Medical bills will do it, man. Saving up for the laptop started to seem like an impossible thing to do. Of course, my health comes first and that was the main priority. So I started to focus on getting better physically, but my mental state was in shambles. After treatment and medications I’m doing better. Tackling things one at a time opened up a window to where I started to realize that the next obstacle to tackle was my mental health. I stopped desiring to achieve my goals, be around others, and became unsatisfied with many things that I should have been grateful for. Then when things weren’t in my control, I let the desire to want to control things control me. That took away some great opportunities, and some connections with other people.
Now, due to the love of my life, I have a new laptop that has everything I need to get back to my writing and poetry. My mental health is back to where it’s supposed to be. I took time to reflect, to change my negative mindset, and to learn to be grateful for my life and the people in it by helping others. It’s constant work to get out of depression, and to rid oneself of negative thoughts and energy. But I did it. My desires and passions came back to me freely. Flowing through me with great speed and force.
Half the year has already passed. I really would love to get right back into updating many of my ongoing series here on Grim’s Crypt. I’m thinking that I should just finish writing the series first, and then upload in parts. That way you all can enjoy them on a regular schedule instead of the inconsistent posting I have been doing. So until then, I’ll definitely be posting tons of short stories, prose, and poetry until they are completed. I look forward to reconnecting and sharing with you all on a deeper level.
Thank you. If you’ve read up to this point I am truly grateful to you. It’s always hard to open up, but it’s brave and healing to do so. You all are and have been amazing since day one with Grim’s Crypt, and I am ever appreciative of you all and your support.