Tied up and weighed down by

the heavy weights of repetition.

Every day the same damn thing

and I’m drowning in this condition.

Wake up, zombie mode, work, and sleep;

this lifeless routine is too deep,

And the suffocation is nothing but a

provocation for me to end it.

Gun against my head, hoping to end up

dead, but I can’t go through with it.

Hands on my head and I’m down on my

knees praying.

Hoping that I never seek to give up

like I almost did. Swaying.

So I take that strength from within

and apply it to all this shit.

Time for me to woman up, make changes

needed instead of saying fuck this.

 

Image: Pintrest

 

I wrote this after I had a long session with myself in the dead of night. I looked at how far I’ve come from the sever depression and anxiety I used to suffer from. Life was not what I wanted to be. It was the same thing, same feelings every day that almost brought me to the end. I do follow a routine other than wake, work, and sleep; there are things I do to make and feel like every single day is different. I set different goals every day for myself. Those things I still go through on a daily basis, but it’s not to that extent. If I would rate it on the scale I’d say I was a 10 in the past and now I’m a 2 or 3, 10 being the worst. After praying, meditation, and changing my negative mindset and how I looked at certain things in life I changed. For the better, but I never forget how I felt back then and what I went through. It keeps me humbled, and it’s a strong reminder that I always have to keep pushing forward and work hard to not get back to how it was in the past. Hope you all enjoy the poem. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think or feel free to share any of your experience.

 

 

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