Back to the drawing board, having to start over again,
Searching for guidance and to be led by light from within.
Silver linings are hard to see when the shadows overflow.
Swallowed light, darkness is the only thing I seem to know.
That comfortable silence always comfort me when things go astray,
But always longing for the light to come save me again one day.
Searching the black abyss within leaves me hopeless and afraid.
Using that last ounce of energy inside me to bend my knees and pray.
The words fall off my lips in whispers as tears fall,
Never knowing if anyone will answer my call.
Nevertheless, I’m stuck in between comfort and distress.
All the while I feel how strong the pressure is building in my chest.
Darkness is too well known, like a reoccurring lover who comes but never stays.
And in days filled with light, it’s sad to say sometimes I miss the darker days.
Back and forth between the two leaves my chest tight.
But I need the balance between both. That’s the only thing that feels right.
With one I long for the other, vice versa, it’s like a sick game.
The constant back and forth causes nothing but pain.
Wondering what the cause of all this strife may be,
But my mind is never clear enough to find an answer to help me.
I pace back and forth, in the dark thinking of how to get back to the light.
But I’ll just stop now. It’s time to give in and give up on this fight.
If I let go…no. I have to let it all go and see what happens then.
Maybe then I can find some answers from within.
Image: pulled from Google